Dee Lennox - In the Business of Birthdays

Originally published on the Boulder Women's Magazine Website , June 2002

By MELISSA JOHNSON

The faint tune of “Happy Birthday” rings from inside the pockets of Dee Lennox's purse. Re-applying her lip-gloss before the next round of photos for her appearance on the cover of Women's Magazine, Dee has the phone to her ear before the second verse.

“Are you in labor?” Dee paces back and forth in the bathroom at the Westend Photography studio in Boulder, suddenly focused and professional.

“No, no, you're absolutely fine. You don't need to camp out at the hospital today.” She sighs, as though relieving the entirety of her petite, five-foot frame. Still on the phone, Dee returns to her relaxed demeanor and starts fussing with her shoulder-length hair in the bathroom mirror.

“If your water breaks, we'll take it from there.” Dee wishes her client well and hangs up. A few more touch-ups, and she returns to the studio floor, affirming that such interruptions are business as usual for a doula.

The term doula is derived from the Greek word for the most important woman slave. Doulas historically assisted pregnant women by offering all levels of support - physical, mental, emotional and informational - for the duration of the pregnancy and often post partum.

For Dee, being a doula today is about making pregnancy personal, unique and empowering for women.

“To know you have the power, your body is designed to do this and honor, that is so important I think for women, families and their children,” Dee said.

Six years ago Dee opened her business, Small Wonders. The original concept was to offer childbirth education classes out of the basement of her Boulder home, but after attending the birth of one of her students, she realized her true passion and extended her services.

A registered nurse since 1984, becoming a doula was going back to the reason why Dee entered the medical profession in the first place.

“I became a nurse to nurture, support and understand the whole person,” Dee said. “That can get lost with hospital protocols, paperwork and when the standard is ten patients for one nurse. Women have always been with women in labor historically, and I think we're going back to that now because in the hospitals you can't rely on the doctor or the midwife being there all of the time. You can't even rely on the nurse being one on one with you, so basically you need somebody else to complete the circle to make you feel safe.”

Hiring a doula is becoming a popular local birthing trend. When Dee started teaching classes, two out of the six couples would know what a doula does. Now, nearly all of the couples in her classes are aware of doulas, many from friends who have used one.

The trend, Dee says, is because more mothers are realizing a midwife catches the baby, nurses monitor the mother and a doula provides safety and advocacy for the mother and her partner.

“I come in non-scripted,” Dee said. “I don't come in with any other expectations for the couple other then to have a positive birth. I want my clients to come out saying it was a great day. It was my baby's birthday and it was perfect, no regrets.”

As a doula and in her birthing classes, Dee teaches what she says to be the hardest, but most important childbirth technique - relaxation.

“To not fear it and to not feel like you can control it is what I tell people,” Dee said. “Kind of like an athlete, if you can relax everything else and just let the uterus work, and trust your body knows what to do. You can't control it, you have to let go and surrender to it.”

Doulas emphasize a woman's natural ability to have children and they teach alternatives to epidurals, such as grounded breathing techniques and simple relaxation methods. Dee encourages women to feel the mind body connection during childbirth, but also understands a mother's decision for drugs.

“Labor and people - they are all different,” Dee said. “I teach them all of the interventions that are out there so they can make a good choice for their labor. If they choose an epidural then they chose the right thing for their birth.”

Dee also teaches couples what, during childbirth, is normal. To do this Dee reenacts a laboring woman, squatting on the floor.

“If my patients know what is normal, they won't worry,” Dee said. “If they aren't worrying then her partner can support and encourage her. She needs her partner there real close to her giving her lots of love, and her partner can't do that if they are worried.”

Her inspiration to educate future parents on childbirth, or what she considers a lost ancient art, stems from the empowering and life changing experience she received during the birth of her three children, a 21-year-old son, 18-year-old daughter and 14-year-old son, all without a doula.

“I did have all three in the hospital, and all natural despite the hospital, and learned how to manage by putting technology aside and trusting my body.”

Dee's medical background makes her unique to her field. To become a doula, a certification through childbirth education is required, along with attending a certain amount of births.

She takes on three to four clients a month, and begins meeting with expectant mothers in the second trimester. She meets with her clients again at 36 weeks and when they go into labor. Afterwards she will meet with the mother as a postpartum visit and leaves, reminding her client her phone line is always open.

Every year on the Saturday before Mother's Day, Dee hosts an annual baby party, where nearly 100 of her clients and their babies get together and share stories. Many of the parents keep in touch with Dee long after the birth of their child, and even more couples hire Dee for a second or even third pregnancy.

Patients call her at all hours, and with a schedule dictated by unborn babies, Dee says her days are chaotic, but she wouldn't trade in the chaos for consistency.

“There's nothing more exciting then being at a place where new life comes into this world. I cry tears of joy at every birth; it's such a miracle, such an energy. I always thank my clients for letting me be there.”

For the Women's Magazine cover photo shoot, Dee was joined by new parents Ellen and Eric St. Germain who hired Dee as their doula on recommendations from friends.

For the birth of their first son, Wiley, both parents said they knew they wanted to have someone assisting them along the way.

Eric said what he learned from Dee was “wonderful stuff,” and encouraged the use of a doula to anyone thinking of having a baby.

As for Wiley's birth, Dee said the whole hospital floor was buzzing about the un-medicated birth.

“Her journey was so beautiful,” said Dee about the new mother, Ellen. “Ellen smiled and relaxed and loved her labor, and her baby was brought into love and calm.”

Holding Wiley, Dee joked that Eric and Ellen proved they paid attention in class.

Throughout her career, almost all of Dee's clients have had successful and memorable births. For Dee, perhaps the most memorable happened in early April, when a baby just couldn't wait for the hospital, and opted instead for Highway 36.

As Dee was following the couple to a hospital in Lafayette, the woman told Dee by cell phone the baby was coming and went to squat in the back of her van. Dee encouraged her not to push, and instead told her to blow as though she was blowing out a candle. It was then the woman's husband told Dee they had to pull over.

“The woman said, ‘I think there is a baby in my pants,'” said Dee. Dee said when she got to the mother, a towel miraculously appeared in her hands for her to wrap the baby in until an ambulance arrived. The baby arrived healthy, amidst rush hour traffic.

Dee has been documenting her birth stories since the beginning and currently has a proposal out to get the experiences of her clients published.